If you give a Maggie an SUV, she'll want to go camping.

17 Apr

Damn responsibility.

Working the 9-5 is all good and well until the weather changes and the sun shines and the birds cheep and my neighbors annoying wind chimes start chiming. Then it isn’t working season. Then it is camping season. Then I don’t want to be in my office. I want to be in my tent.

Camping season is almost near. I know this for many reasons. My high heels sink in the now thawed ground. There are daffodils blooming everywhere. When I arrive home from work, I can smell meat cooking on our grill before I’m even out of the car. And of course, its been raining for 40 days straight.

I’ve only spent three springs in this area but without fail, the beginning of the season has been marked by several days of non-stop rain. This is followed by the flooding of streams and creeks. Which is followed by receding waters. And once the waters are down and the sun has dried the ground just enough (just enough meaning I can sleep on the ground with out getting pneumonia but its still wet enough that tent stakes do not require a jackhammer) then it is time to camp.

Normally I don’t anticipate camping season quite this much. But its been a long, nasty winter and I have faith in the healing power of sunlight. And I have a new SUV. What am I supposed to do with all that cargo room?? Pack it full of groceries?? No sir.

This is not a soccer mom’s SUV (no offense to the soccer moms.) No, this is a sports utility vehicle. To be used for sporty purposes. I regret to say we have had had our Jeep for a month have done nothing remotely sporty with it. I did take it off roading twice. Once through the landscaping outside my office (oops. don’t text and park.) and yesterday the traffic was at a standstill nearly a mile from the exit I needed. There wasn’t a shoulder in that area so I took my chances and drove in the grass next to the line of backed up cars. It worked. I figured if I got pulled over at least I was already over… Anyway, that’s the most adventure The Beast (as I like to call her, even though she isn’t all that beastly) has seen.

I hope this is all about to change. It would have changed this weekend but it will be raining everywhere within a five hour radius of St. Louis so that’s a no-go. I’m settling for spending Sunday cleaning and organizing all of our camping gear and visiting local Bass Pro and Cabel’s locations to gather all of the new camping accessories we think we need.

Like these insanely awesome coolers:


They are stackable coolers in various sizes. They all snap together, so you can carry them as on. Its genius. Fill one with beer. Fill another with assorted meet and food products. No need to stick your arm into a foot of ice to find the package of hotdogs.

We also need one of these:


I’ve never felt the need to own a screen house because we usually camp in the fall, when the worst of the bugs are gone. But since we will be camping lakeside in midsummer this is probably a good idea.

One of these is also on the shopping list.


Again, not normally hot-weather campers so we don’t own any battery operated fans. We mainly avoid summer camping because I don’t handle heat well. It makes me all woozy and wobbly. But this summer I’m determined to build my heat tolerance.

There is no such thing as humidity tolerance, therefore our camping adventures will NOT take place anywhere near the bowl of humidity that is St. Louis. (If you’ve never been here in the summer, well, then I can’t explain it to you. Zac can because he took some kind of weather/geography class. Once my mom asked a hotel clerk why it was so humid in St. Louis. She explained that it’s “because of all of the corn fields around here.” Um. No, honey, we’re from the corn fields. Please don’t talk to us about corn. Seriously.)

Did you know they make air conditioning units for tents? Yeah. That’s cheating. So is taking a space heater in the late fall. But then again, I think sites that include electricity are cheating too. I’m apparently some sort of primitive snob. Who needs running water and hot showers!! (Serious, I hate campground showers. I swear by diaper wipes as a sufficient source of camping hygiene. Although I once tried to swim/bathe using a well pump. Different story.)

Also we need these.


I used to be a bottled water person. But now we all know that drinking bottled water from the bottle after its gotten warm can give you cancer in your boobies. (If you would like me to launch into a full fledged scientific explanation of this I can. No? Just offering.) Anyway, just say no to bottled water. Its bad for the environment anyway. But we need these awesome aluminum water bottles for our planned biking/hiking/canoeing expeditions (I’ll have to write a separate post about our trip plans!)

Reading this post you would think we have some exuberant amount of disposable income. Ha. But there seems to be a possible solution to that problem. There is a Coleman Outlet store in Branson. I’ve never been to Branson but that sounds like a good reason to go. Quick run to Branson on Sunday? Maybe? We’ll see.

We’ll anyway I’m glad I could share my camping shopping list with you. My blog posts are so random…but you just read the whole thing so whatever, you must be random too.

I promise I’ll make a better attempt at updating this here blog more regularly. And not just with wedding related stories! I have great photos and tales to share from a recent trip to the farmers market! And gossip about new jobs! And summer roadtrips!


2 Responses to “If you give a Maggie an SUV, she'll want to go camping.”

  1. mom April 18, 2009 at 4:35 pm #

    glad to see your back, i thought you had blogger block or something. you did not get your love of camping from me and by the way were you dissing me when you commited on people who cheat by camping with electricity??? i confess, when you were 4 and we camped i took a space heater, a blow dryer and a little lamp for the table that set next to your cot!!! (that had a foam mattress on it) thats right all those electrical items were not for me but for princess maggie. wow have things changed!! i thank zac for making you a little more country!! tell me zac, does she still require all her hair goodies and her my little pony sleeping bag?? this old lady loves the Hilton!!!

  2. littlegreenbirdy April 19, 2009 at 5:22 pm #

    Amen sister, Amen!

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